Enjoy the snipit above from my conversation with Dr. Eli Kraiem. To hear the entire episode, head to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.
Whether someone is dating, engaged, or married, they’re usually hoping I’ll give them a simple yes or no. The truth is, there isn’t one.
On this week’s episode of Dating Rehab, I sat down with clinical psychologist Dr. Eli Kraiem, who specializes in couples therapy, to talk about what actually makes relationships work—and why so many couples wait far too long before getting help.
One thing he said really surprised me.
Not all couples therapists are actually trained in couples therapy.
Most people assume that if someone is a licensed therapist, they’re automatically qualified to work with couples. That’s not necessarily true.
Dr. Kraiem explained that while many therapists see couples in their practice, most receive very little formal training in relationship dynamics. That’s a problem because couples therapy is completely different from individual therapy.
Helping one person process their emotions is one skill.
Helping two people who are actively triggering each other communicate, repair trust, and change unhealthy patterns is an entirely different one.
If you’re investing your time, money, and hope into therapy, it’s worth asking a few questions before booking that first appointment.
What training do they have specifically in couples work?
What approach do they use?
How much of their practice is actually dedicated to working with couples?
Choosing the right therapist can make all the difference.
Relationships don’t create your wounds. They expose them.
This was probably my biggest takeaway from the conversation.
It’s easy to think your partner is “making you crazy.”
In reality, intimate relationships have a way of bringing unresolved issues to the surface. Past rejection, abandonment, insecurity, family dynamics—they all show up eventually.
That’s why people can spend years in individual therapy, only to discover they struggle with completely different issues once they’re in a serious relationship.
You don’t really know how you show up as a partner until you’re actually partnered.
And that’s exactly why couples therapy can be so powerful. You’re working through those moments in real time instead of talking about them after the fact.
Can you get back together after a breakup?
This is another question I hear constantly.
The answer isn’t simply yes or no.
Dr. Kraiem shared his own story of separating from his now-wife for two years before eventually finding their way back to each other.
What changed wasn’t luck.
They changed.
They grew individually, reflected on what wasn’t working, and came back together as different people.
I see this in my matchmaking practice too.
Sometimes people reconnect because they’re lonely.
Those relationships usually end the same way they did the first time.
But occasionally, two people truly do the work while they’re apart. They take accountability, become healthier partners, and reconnect for the right reasons.
Those relationships have a real chance.
The important question isn’t, “Do I still love this person?”
It’s, “Have the problems that caused us to break up actually been addressed?”
If the answer is no, getting back together usually means repeating the same relationship with the same ending.
Is anything unforgivable?
Every couple has different boundaries.
For some people, infidelity is a dealbreaker.
For others, lying is worse.
For someone else, financial betrayal may be the line they can’t cross.
There isn’t one universal answer.
What matters is whether both people genuinely want to rebuild trust and whether the person who caused the hurt is willing to take responsibility and make lasting changes.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending something never happened.
It means deciding whether rebuilding is possible—and then doing the work required to rebuild.
My biggest takeaway
As a matchmaker, people often assume my job ends once I introduce two people.
In reality, that’s when the real work begins.
Finding someone is only the first step.
Building a healthy relationship requires communication, emotional maturity, accountability, and a willingness to grow—even when it’s uncomfortable.
The strongest couples aren’t the ones who never have problems.
They’re the ones who learn how to solve them together.
If you’re in a relationship that’s struggling, don’t automatically assume it’s over. But don’t assume love alone will fix it either.
Sometimes the right guidance—and two people willing to do the work—is exactly what’s needed.
If you’ve ever wondered whether a relationship can truly be repaired, or you’re curious about what couples therapy actually looks like, I think you’ll really enjoy this conversation with Dr. Eli Kraiem on this week’s episode of Dating Rehab.
https://www.drelikraiem.com/
